I TRIED TO APOLOGIZE AND IT ENDED WITH THE POLICE BEING CALLED!

I walked across to a neighbors to apologize for something that happened last October. Earlier in the evening I opened my door and told her Happy Easter and she responded with the same. I asked if they had gotten a new car and she said no that her husband had rented it for the weekend. I noticed that they had guest on their porch so I decided to keep to myself. Later it was just her, so I went over to offer an apology. She was eating something, I asked her if they had been at the other neighbors and she told me no they had been at her mothers all day. I told her that one of the neighbors was kind enough to bring me two plates full of food from the home where the Easter gathering was held. I sent thank yous to both of them. I asked if I could talk to her and she said no get off of my property I said fine I would stand on the public sidwalk, but she went inside her home, she came back out with the phone and had called the police, I promptly went back to my home. She was irate to say the least, ranting and raving at the top of her lungs, brought several neighbors out of their homes. I just kept saying that all I was trying to do was apologize. She came from two yards away onto my stup and was nose to nose with me yelling in my face, I put out my hand which was on her chest and told her to get off of my property, she started screaming at me hit my hand away and was in my face again, so I grabbed her by the hair and forced her to the ground and told her to let go of me, she had my cane between us and a hold of my jacket and wouldn't let go. The neighbor came down and put her in a bear hug and told me to let go, I said that I didn't have a hold of her, that she was the one that wouldn't let go of me! First there was one neighbor trying to calm her down, again she was irate! They wanted to know where her husband was and I told them he was down the street. Then there were three neighbors trying to calm her down. Next thing I knew was her husband was pounding on my porch, yelling at me that he was going to kill me, I told him really, he said I'm going to kill you bitch. So I in turn called the police for fear of my life. I went back onto my enclosed porch because a second police car was here and I knew that I needed to talk to them. Now they want to prosecute me for defending myself! What is this world comming to when you can't even apologize to someone. I believe it is a sad sad place that they must be in, to hate that much.

NEIGHBORS / FRIENDS / FORGIVENESS

Dear Lord, I come to you as humble as I know how. I confess my sins, those known and unknown. Lord you know I am not perfect and I fall short everyday of my life, but I want to take time out to say thank you for your mercy. Thank you for my family, my friends, a roof over my head, food on my table, and everything I have ....

Lord our God has given us free will. Lord our God, has given us the power to forgive each other also. During a breakdown, I have made mistakes, snap judgments and spoken harsh words to my neighbors/friends. I have tried to mend many fences, some are mending slowly, some I feel are beyond repair. At least from their side of the fence, because they won't even give me the chance to speak to them. Some I feel are being nice but I'm not sure they are sincere. I still feel I here whispers behind my back.

These Neighbors have formed friendships and I have been excluded, they help each other, check on each other when they know someone is feeling down, upset or ill. I am ill quite often, yet no one ever checks to see if I need anything. They gather together and the few attempts I have made to join them have been very uncomfortable, certain one just leave. Which I feel like I should be the one leaving.

I am who I am, not perfect by any means. I don't put on airs, what you see is what you get. I am a person with feelings, and they get hurt often. Not just by my neighbors but my family as well. 

The neighbors that I have "mended fences with" don't really seem to be friends but simply neighbors.  If that is what is meant to be then so be it. In the end the Lord our God is the only one who will judge me and that is all that matters.

I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK FROM BLOGGING/NEEDED TO GET A MORE POSITIVE OUTLOOK!

My life has been filled with ups and downs. I have finally realized that things could be a lot worse than I think they have been. Besides the Emotional and Physical Illnesses that keep me on Disability, I am truly blessed, you see I am surrounded by people that love me very much. From family to new friends to old friends to high school friends. My new philosophy in life is that I am "WORSE THAN SOME, BUT BETTER THAN MOST". So today is the beginning of my new life..... I will no longer let the small stuff hold me back, I will no longer be dragged into others DRAMA! I will start looking at the beauty all around me that the good LORD has put on this earth for us to enjoy. The power of positive thinking is indeed a very powerful thing and I intend to use it to the fullest. I urge each and everyone of you to do the same! I also believe that the small things that each of us can do to protect our earth, is huge when we ALL make an effort. I'm not just talking about making it beautiful to the eyes but also to the ears. We can do so much by just doing little things like smiling at someone or opening a door, saying please and thank you. Things that I grew up knowing as manners, which our society today has seemed to have forgotten. I like the "PAY IT FORWARD" theory, in fact I believe in it, I have seen it work.

 I hope you all have a Blessed day filled with Joy!