First a lesson in definitions:
Friend~~1) person who knows and likes another. 2) person who favors and supports. 3) person who belongs to the same side or group.
Friendship~~ 1) state of being friends. 2) a liking between friends. 3) friendly feeling or behavior.
Neighbor~~ 1) one who lives near another. 2) person or thing that is near another. 3) live or be near. 4) a fellow human being. 5) be friendly (with)
Neighborly~~ 1) kind ; friendly; sociable.
These definitions make me ponder my situation. I am left wondering just where I fit in and with whom. Once upon a time I lived in a neighborhood where pretty much EVERYONE kept to themselves, with the exception of the occasional hello. Then about a year and a half ago, myself, the neighbors across the street from me and the ones next to them all started hanging out, eating and drinking and socializing with each other. And as I am not proud of the fact, because I include myself, but other neighbors were talked about and singled out about public family issues. All five of us were guilty of the gossip which caused DRAMA for this I deeply regret my actions. Soon the dynamics of the neighborhood were forever changed, this to I regret. Many misunderstandings have taken place. Many hurtful things have been said and done. I personally am ashamed of the way WE adults have handled ourselves, because WE have ALL set bad examples for all of the children in our neighborhood.
I am ill a lot I try to get out and visit when others are out, truthfully I need adult conversations. Yesterday, I got out to borrow a couple of Tylenol from my neighbor who was out and ended up having a very nice visit and found out that we are really not all that different. To her I am grateful (she knows who she is) because I really needed the chat we got to have.
My dilemma is that I can hear when my neighbors get together, they have dinners together and gather to visit, make cakes for each others birthdays and well, simply put, I am left out, not invited, I try not to let it brother me but I can't help it, it does. :(
Once again I'm thrown back to high school where I always felt like a loaner. So even though I try to have a Friendship and be Neighborly, I surrender to the fact that I am simply a NEIGHBOR.
