Mind you, hindsight is 20/20.
October 2010, I had to get a new Doctor, mine had to leave her practice do to her own health. I really miss her. This "Doctor" didn't know me and he didn't really try to get to know me, this wasn't good. It was like, "here is another script", I felt like I was dismissed! [I should have listened to my instints and found a different Doctor] I am very complex. My body chemistry is very sensitive and doesn't take well to medication, lots of complications. This was conveyed but what did I know?! It was only MY body!! So to my dismay, I went along with his plan for my treatment. **
This turned out to be so very wrong!
December 26, 2011, I was hospitalized. Seems that all 9, yes I said 9 different medications...ugh...had been building up in my system. This in turn was causing "side effects" that were "mind altering". I had so much in my system that my mind couldn't think straight anymore. I was crying all the time, feeling like no matter what I did nothing was right, everything was crashing in around me I felt like I didn't belong. I was shutting everyone and everything out of my life. I ended up taking to much medication (prescription induced overdose) and had to be hospitalized. But this was not the end of it.
While hospitalized, I was taken off of so many medications all at once, no tapering off, just cold turkey!! My sensitive body chemistry didn't like it and started to rebel while in the hospital, I was developing High Blood pressure, swelling in my lower limbs, and again, I expressed my concern, but I was sent home anyway. "Take these and make an appointment with your DOCTOR"!!!
** Three days later, I saw my Doctor. He said that he couldn't treat me any longer and terminated our "Doctor/Patient" relationship, he couldn't handle my complexity and was afraid of a lawsuit I suppose! Another...Three days later....I was headed to the ER again. This time with a near fatal, Serotonin Syndrome!!
I had been prescribed so many new medication and taken off so many others that my system was reeling! One medication built up in my system so fast that it caused my body to nearly kill itself! I had no control of my brain, my body or my functions. My limbs were jerking, I had a blinding headache, my heart was nearly pounding out of my chest, I could feel my blood pressure rising and they couldn't even count my pulse! The Doctor was in to see me within minutes, even before the nurse and admitting. This was horrible! I have never been so scared in my life.
I have been suffering since, I live in pain on a daily basis and nothing feels right, my system is still going through hell! On top of it all, I am going through "menopause" too!! But this too shall pass.
I am now trying a different approach to my care. After much research, I am seeing a new Doctor, one who practices in Holistic medicine. A "natural" approach to healing. This makes so much more sense to me. I will never again rely on (mind altering and addicting) drugs.
I URGE all of you to do your research and know your body and what you are putting into it. Don't let yourself fall into the trap that I did. DON'T let any make you feel DISMISSED!! This goes for your FOOD intake as well. Eat natural foods. Stay away from "PROCESSED" foods. Cola's, man made "artificial sweeteners" and preservatives! These are all TERRIBLE for your HEALTH!
Now, I am on a variety of all natural Vitamins, ones that work to correct your bodies natural chemistry and keep it in check. My mind is finally feeling like the "fog" has lifted!! I am thinking so much more "clear" headed now. Truly a wonderful feeling!
I feel like the more time that passes, the better I am getting at least emotionally. Physically, well, this is going to take time. I realize that there is no "magic pill" and my body needs time to heal itself.
During all of this I prayed to the Lord for his help, to make me strong so that I will be able to get back to "NORMAL" and be able to live a some what productive life again. This is what I felt.....
This time I prayed it was different, I truly felt like the LORD was with me, like we were one? I have always prayed but I have never felt this way....ever?!? I felt such tearful joy, relief, life and love. I know now that HE is with me always and I now know that my life does have meaning. So for all of you that sometimes doubt and wonder WHY.....just remember the LORD is truly watching over us all. We are blessed.
Never take this precious gift of LIFE we have been given for granted! Treasure it, Love it, Live it, Hold on to it and treat it as such, a PRECIOUS GIFT!!
O God, thank you for this day. Give me a courageous, positive interest in everything that happens around me. Take from my heart all vain regrets and all empty dreams, that I may follow him who went about day by day doing the good of that day. Jesus Christ, our Lord, Amen.
I decided to share this with you all because it has come to my attention that "people talk", so you heard it from the "horses mouth" so to speak. I am not ashamed nor embarrassed about what I have been through. I believe that because of this that I am stronger and more ONE with the LORD! I am healing and my life is on a great path. I am blessed, I have all of you!
