LOOSING MY MARBLES WITH FIBROMYALGIA

What is it like having Fibromyalgia?

Well, you feel misunderstood, frustrated, angry, depressed and sad. It hurts to stand, it hurts to walk, it hurts to sit, you can’t sleep, you never feel rested, you forget, it hurts to be hugged, it hurts when your family and friends say things like (you need to exercise it will make you feel better) because you’ve tried and it doesn’t.  You feel lonely. You’ve cancelled plans so many times that you don’t get invited anywhere anymore.

I used to be active. I walked, I ran races (3 half marathons), I babysat my grandchildren. I went out, socialized, dated, traveled, shopped and enjoyed life. I feel like I have lost everything, my job, the respect of my children, most of my friends, the ability to support myself (which I’ve always done), my self-esteem. I don’t have a partner to share my life with (not enough energy/too many marbles). You feel like you are letting everyone and yourself down.

I’ve explained this to people before but no one really understands, so I’m going to try with ‘Marbles’.

When you are healthy, you are full of life and have all of your marbles, lots of marbles an endless supply.

Imagine having to give a marble for everything that you do but having a limited supply. You only get 25 marbles to use each day.

This is how it works.

You wake up to start your day, just getting out of bed – 1 marble, first thing you have to let the dogs out and feed them – 1 marble, time to shower, shave, do your hair, put on your make-up, brush your teeth and get dressed – 5 marbles. Next, breakfast, fixing/eating/cleaning up – 1 marbles, now what to do, lets bake some banana or zucchini bread, get everything together/mix it up/bake it/clean it all up – 2 marbles, better check on your grandson that you watch every day – 1 marble, need to water the flowers and garden (it takes effort going up and down the steps, dragging the hose) – 3 marbles, lunch time for two, more preparing/cleaning up – 1 marble, let the dogs out again and check the mail (more steps) – 1 marble, you are up to 16 marbles only 9 left and it’s just after lunch, you would love to run to the grocery but  you need to do a load of laundry both take 6 marbles so you have to choose, laundry it is, (groceries go on tomorrows list) you gather your load, down the stairs, load the washer, back up the stairs, back down the stairs, into the dryer, back up the stairs, back down the stairs, out of the dryer, fold/hang, back up the stairs, put it away, finally, now you are exhausted, it takes more out of you than you planned – 1 extra marble, you have plans to go to dinner with your best friend but you only have 2 marbles left, which is not enough so you have to cancel (again), you need to fix dinner since you aren’t going out but you still have to tend to the dogs using – 1 marble, now with just 1 marble left, another decision, if you fix/eat dinner you don’t have enough marbles to go to bed  so you have to skip dinner and go to bed using your last marble.

This is what it is like having Fibromyalgia.

I have a beautiful marble collection, I treasure it!

Thanks and Stay COOL!