REALIZING YOU SHOULD LIVE WITH NO REGRETS AND THE FREEDOM IT BRINGS

I am sitting here tonight, listening to a lot of lyrics from different artist. A lot of whom have touched places in my heart as I am sure has happened to most of you. If I could sit down and put them in chronological order as to what was happening in my life at the time, they could tell my life's story. One artist in particular made me realize that dwelling on the past, well, he said it best......"There is no such thing as what might have been, that's a waste of time, will just drive you out of your mind" ~ Tim McGraw~ Red Rag Top~ I have loved that song for a very long time and just tonight, I realize why. It has made me realize that my choices in life, starting back when I was 17, was in fact the right choice, I decided to have my daughter. Although, some of the decisions that were made at the time were out of my hands, I knew that keeping her was the one thing that I could control, she was in me and no one could change that but me. She has brought me so much feeling it is hard to put into words. She has made me feel unconditional love as a infant, and toddler, feel frustration in her single digit ages, aggravation as a teenager (is there any parent who hasn't felt that..lol). But most of all the satisfaction of watching her bloom into a beautiful woman and mother of three!! She has brought me full circle, with a lot of life and lessons learned in between. But most importantly, she has made me feel like I did a good job raising her, the values and determination she has towards her own children verify that I had a small part in her mothering skills, be it the good times or some of the trials we went through. I watch her with her own children and see the confidence she has instilled in them, the talent she has helped emerge in them, the personalities that she has let each of them develop. It is because of who she has become, I am bursting with pride to know that I had a some influence in the woman and mother she has become.

I dedicate this post to my oldest daughter, I love you and am so proud of whom you have become!!

THE HARDEST THING A MOTHER HAS TO DO IS LET ONE OF HER CHILDREN LEARN A LESSON THE HARD WAY!

My son carelessly received his second DUI this past Saturday!! I am heart broken. I decided to let him spend the night in jail. He was not appreciative of my help to pick him up after his arraignment. He has no regard for his own life, much less others that he endangers when he is driving under the influence. He is in the group of young adults that for some reason think they deserve what WE have worked most of our lives to attain. He also suffers with depression, ADD, and possibly the onset of Schizophrenia!?!?! I am at my wits end, I am on disability for my own emotional and physical issues, I can no longer handle my sons disregard for others whom are trying to help him. He is rude and disrespectful not only to me but his grandparents! I feel like a failure as a parent to him, even though HE wore designer cloths, did all of the travel sports while in school, things I felt like I was doing to keep him out of this type of behavior. I guess you just can't predict how your children's lives will turn out, no matter how much you try to guide or encourage them to take the path that we feel would benefit them the most.

Right now I feel like he is playing Russian Roulette with his life!! Your call is as good as mine at this point!!

Anyone who has good advise as to how to help him I am interested in your opinion. PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND IF YOU JUST WANT TO BE A BLOW HARD, Because I really don't need bullshit right now.

I'M BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE

I have a son that is 22 and still wants to act like he is 16, wants no responsibilities, but all of the perks of being an adult!! I don't know what it is about this generation but they seem to think that they are entitled to everything WE have worked our asses off for the past 30 years???? I just don't get it!!! I think that things have gotten way out of control as far a parenting is concerned. You can't discipline your children when they are young so when they get older they think they can control you!!! The system is messed up.........all of the "do gooders" have made the world a much harder place to live.......the "tweens and 20 somethings" think they "deserve to have things on a silver platter"!! Well I'm here to tell you that's not going to happen, not in my world anyway. My 22 year old is going to have to learn the hard way, and it's for his own good!! As a mother, this is going to be a very hard thing I'm going to have to do. My life has been a constant battle with all of my children, but especially my son, I have been told by many therapist that he is going to have to hit bottom. I am afraid that it is just around the corner. This makes me very sad but on the other hand I hope it shocks him into reality because I'm starting to remember what it means to feel alive again!!

I am starting to put my life back together, I still have a lot of bridges to cross but I feel like I am finally on my way. With the help of really good friends I am realizing that for me it is best to live life in the present, not in the past and to not try to project what the future will bring.

Wish me luck, I'm going to be 50 and FABULOUS on Thursday Feburary 17th!!