CHEATED

For many of my early years I have felt cheated in life. I became pregnant and married at 18, I take full responsibility even though it technically takes two. And don't get me wrong because I dearly loved my child, but I felt like all decisions concerning MY life were no longer mine to make. I was told this is what you were going to do. So from the beginning I (WE) were destined to fail. Neither of us wanted to be married, but it was the right thing to do. We both played the part, made a home, became parents, got jobs, lost jobs, lost fidelity, got a new place to live, got better jobs, had another child, lost better jobs, lost trust, got divorced, all with in a seven year span. I not only felt cheated in life, by not being able to make my own choices but I was actually "cheated on in marriage". To be hurt that way so young and to not understand why? Well it has scared me. What did I do to make a man that wanted me everyday when we dated go from that to not wanting me at all, to cheating?? So at age forty-nine I still have trust issues, low self-esteem, and am still at a loss as to what my purpose in this world is.