WEARING ALL OF THE HATS/ STILL ALONE

When you are single, a parent, sole nurturer, sole provider, weather you like it or not, you get the brunt of all the good, the bad and the ugly! You work your tail off at your job, you work your tail off at home, you work your tail off to give your children everything they need and some how you fail miserably at least in your children's eyes. You see society has made next to impossible to be a single parent and survive it without your children resenting you. In their eyes you work too much and aren't around to go to their events they are in. You can't afford to pay for most of the events that they want to be in, and you sure as hell can't afford the limousine to take them to the "Middle School" dance?!?!?!? They are always mad at you because you can't give them enough because you have a mountain of bills to pay, your gone all of the time because you are either working or taking some "ME TIME" god forbid! They hate you and love their father's, yet you are the one doing everything for them.

It isn't until they are grown and have children of their own that they figure it out. They finally see the light that you did in fact do the best that you could and they did have most of what they needed or wanted growing up. That you did teach them valuable lessons concerning, how to run a household, how to be to two places at one time, how to be the very best parent you are capable of being within the limits that you are given.

Then you sit back and watch them trying to do everything you did, and the phone rings, "mom can you watch the kids we want to go out for the evening"?  And again you are thrown back into the ring of hats. You sacrifice your night out in order to stay home so they can go out. But you do so because their lives are so busy that if you say no you never get to see your grandchildren, much less your own children. You see at this point in their lives they are TOO BUSY to stop by and visit. So you take what you can get, you slowly loose your own identity, a single parent looking for another single parent to have as a partner, instead you become a single grandmother. And please don't get me wrong here, I dearly love my grandchildren, but I would dearly love to have a partner to share my life with. I will be "50" this year and am still alone, except for my pups. And at this point in my life it feels like I've been handed a sentence of being single forever, STILL LOST AND ALONE.